TV Detour #2 - The Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park Grand Opening

Hooray for Hollywood! It was 28 years ago today that Walt Disney World opened the gates to it’s third theme park, The Disney-MGM Studios (the name of which was changed to Disney’s Hollywood Studios in 2007.) However, it was the night before, on April 30th, that NBC aired the longest and splashiest park opening special that Disney had yet produced (and likely ever will): The Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park Grand Opening!

In 1984, an entirely new management team had taken control of the company at the behest of the board of directors led by Walt’s nephew, Roy E. Disney. This new crew was headed by Michael Eisner as CEO and Chairman of the Board, and Frank Wells as President and COO. Their primary goal had been to drag the movie studio up from what the rest of the industry saw as a money-losing joke. After a rather shaky start, the pair had succeeded by 1989; they brought fresh, young artists to the animation department, and pushed for edgier live-action films through the newly-created Touchstone label. With recent hits like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and Oliver & Company, Hollywood stood up to take notice that Disney was once again a major filmmaking force. This would only be cemented later that same year, with the hugely successful release of The Little Mermaid.

What Eisner and Wells had not expected when they came to Disney was how consistently successful the company’s theme park division was. Ran separately (and very differently) than the movie divisions, Disneyland and Walt Disney World were like secret weapons that churned out profit, and both men were instantly enchanted by the work done by the “Imagineers” at WED Enterprises (which they soon re-named Walt Disney Imagineering.) When competing movie studio Universal, who had been running tours of their facility in Hollywood since 1915 (and expanded it into a theme park in 1965,) announced plans to build a second studio and park in Orlando, the naturally competitive Eisner decided to nip the opposition in the bud. Expanding upon a proposed “Movie Pavilion” for EPCOT Center, Eisner instead pushed for the creation of a full-fledged production studio and theme park for their Florida property. After entering into a licensing agreement with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (whose library of films included such timeless classics as The Wizard Of Oz and Casablanca,) Eisner had his studio up and running in three years time, with the full theme park opening less than a year later - a full 13 months before Universal debuted their new park.

An arch nemesis

A two-hour behemoth (with commercials,) The Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park Grand Opening is a splashy celebration of Eisner’s monument to the entertainment industry, and also serves as a televised vindication of Disney’s return to the film industry’s good graces. Disney was able to gather a considerable number of Hollywood luminaries, both old and new, to appear or perform. The special opens with an odd musical number, in which Smokey Robinson appears on a deserted Hollywood Boulevard (the one at the theme park, not the real one,) singing “Magic to Do” from the Broadway musical Pippin. Robinson (and his blue-wigged backup dancers) then proceed to use some “television magic” to make cliché Hollywood dreams come true, like some grounded version of Captain EO. Witness as Robinson zaps a lowly cameraman and lighting technician, transforming them into Indiana Jones and Rocky cosplayers! These two proceed to pirouette their way down the street, before being joined by groups of additional dancers in random costumes (Roman charioteers, cowboys, Musketeers, flappers, etc.), meant to collectively represent “the movies.”

Nothing says "period drama" like silver satin coats

Following the opening number, host John Ritter appears, panicking as he’s informed that he has not two days, but less than two hours to assemble the talent to open the park with. “Two hours, two days … you see, that doesn't phase me," he starts calmly, "because, as the great showman P.T. Barnum once said, LESS THAN TWO HOURS!?” Yes, it’s a silly pre-recorded gimmick, but watching Ritter bulge his eyes and run about manically prepping the other celebrities makes me chuckle. Ritter was the same age as my father, and when I used to watch syndicated Three’s Company reruns, I always thought Ritter looked a lot like my father did in photographs from the same time. In a weird way I thought of him as a “celebrity father figure,” and always enjoyed watching him in any role he happened to play (even in something as lousy as 1992’s Stay Tuned); his sudden death in 2003 hit me like no other celebrity passing has. So as goofy and dated as this special can be, with Ritter at the helm, I could never really dislike it.



Ritter me this, Ritter me that...

Although I have to say that when Harry Anderson shows up, riding the giant bee from Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and spouting off nearly two minutes of puns (“Follow that bee-52! But bee careful, or you’ll bee sorry!”), I nearly gave up on the whole thing. Apologies to any Night Court fans out there, but if I never see another one of the comedian's silly sleight of hand parlor tricks, I’d be clicking my damn heels.

Oh look, Harry stole someone's watch - just like in every other fucking thing he's been in...

The whole first half of The Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park Grand Opening is a behind-the-scenes look at the completed park and its production facilities, presented by a number of familiar late ‘80s faces. We have John Forsythe and Kate Jackson previewing both the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular and the Magic of Disney Animation building, the aforementioned Harry Anderson showing off the special effects stages, and a slightly lecherous Dick Van Dyke enjoying The Great Movie Ride with the 19 year-old Creel Triplets (Joy, Leanna and Monica) from The Parent Trap III.

Wait, they made three of them!? Apparently, they made four!


You girls doing anything after the show?

Plus we have Tony Randall previewing the chroma-key magic of Superstar Television, where guests could be inserted into their favorite TV shows. Tracking the evolution of this show is interesting, as originally you could be placed into General Hospital, I Love Lucy, The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, or Howard Cosell’s Sports Break. In the following decade, Lucy remained, but the 1990s Walt Disney World travel videos really promoted guests acting alongside Tim Allen in an episode of Home Improvement. The same theater now runs an extended trailer for the Star Wars saga on a continuous loop.



Announcer: Tell your grandkids you made Johnny Carson laugh!
Grandkids: Who's Johnny Carson?

In addition to the park previews, the special is peppered with some flashy musical numbers, which can be both fun and embarrassing to watch. For one, we’ve got a freshly thigh-mastered Suzanne Somers (sadly sharing no screen time with Ritter) letting us know about the various technicians and talent involved in the planning of a grand Hollywood musical. This is capped off with a performance of Debarge’s “Rhythm of the Night” that’s so late ‘80s that I expected my television to have a day-glo explosion. We also have the members of the then-brand new Mickey Mouse Club (sorry, no Britney or Justin) performing “Why Should I Worry?” from Oliver & Company - thankfully, it's a short segment.

I'm hoping my white mesh half-shirt comes back in fashion

But the big show-stopper, which serves as the finale of the first portion of the show, is a medley of song-and-dance numbers through the Streets of America backlot. First is the “Hot Hot Hot” one himself, Buster Poindexter, belting out a big band-infused performance of Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood” - and it’s actually not bad. Next up is the duo Ashford & Simpson, doing a hip-hopped-up rendition of The Lovin’ Spoonful’s “Summer in the City.” Finally, we get classic Hollywood actress and hoofer Ann Miller tap-dancing her heart out in a rousing rendition of the title song from 42nd Street.



Come and see those dancin' feet...

The rest of the show presents a (slickly edited) report of the invitation-only VIP gala that had been held the prior weekend (but supposedly happening right before our eyes,) with Eisner himself hosting a “film reel” cutting to dedicate the park. A caravan of stars in cars (including Bette Midler, Kevin Costner, Rick Moranis and Audrey Hepburn) precedes excerpts of concert performances from Willie Nelson and The Pointer Sisters. There’s nothing like a steamy performance of “I’m So Excited” to open a Disney theme park with!

Wardrobe by Frederick's of Saturn

Viewers are also treated to a short comedy set by then 93-year-old George Burns, who naturally tells the audience “it’s nice to be here … it’s nice to be anywhere!” This big Hollywood party concludes with another show-stopping musical medley, performed up and down Hollywood Boulevard. A crowd of Disney characters (including Roger Rabbit, dancing alongside Donald and Daisy Duck) joins the celebration, accompanied first by white gowned and tuxedoed performers dancing to “That’s Entertainment,” then leotard-clad dancers jazz-handing to “Fame.” The whole shebang is naturally capped off with fireworks over the Chinese Theater.



A cast of thousands!

The mid-to-late ‘80s seems like the last time when the mystique of “old Hollywood” still held a glamorous spot in popular culture. Once a land of mystery and magic, the inner-workings of the film and television industries have since been demystified by DVD supplements and an overload of “Studio style” amusement parks. Nowadays, most folks don’t seem all that interested in “how the sausage is made,” so to speak, rushing to see a handful of forgettable blockbusters in their opening weekends, and settling for their smartphone screens for others. An original intention of the Disney-MGM Studios - or Disney’s Hollywood Studios, or any others names that are rumored to be used in the future - was to get guests involved in the process of film, TV and music production. While not as charming a theme as Disneyland or The Magic Kingdom (nor as lofty a goal as EPCOT Center's mission to save the world,) but it was more than your average "day at an amusement park" - something that Disney always aimed for. Expansions since its 1989 opening have seen the debut of a number of popular attractions, such as The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and Toy Story Midway Mania - excellent and innovative attractions, but rides nonetheless. Of the original park attractions, only the Indy stunt show and stalwart Great Movie Ride remain - and are both rumored to be up for replacement in the next few years.


I'm gonna' pretend this is Geffen's neck...

The working studio, where movies such as Newsies were filmed, ceased production over a decade ago; the large backlot area with it’s studio tour (which in its final years puttered past mostly empty soundstages and production facilities) is now a construction zone. The animation building, where Mulan, Lilo & Stitch and others were produced, now houses a temporary Star Wars museum and BB-8 meet & greet. In the coming years, the park will be mostly re-imagined into a monument to Intellectual Properties, with Toy Story Land and the yet-unnamed Star Wars section sure to draw in millions of tourists who’ve never heard of Ann Miller or George Burns, let alone know that they once sang and danced in the spots where some new gift shops will likely stand.

The Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park Grand Opening ends with John Ritter, apparently standing high above the park atop its original icon, the mouse-eared “Earful Tower” (itself torn down in 2016)  - though this is yet more movie trickery, as Ritter was actually filmed on a studio-bound reproduction. The tower, like tinsel town's golden age and Eisner’s own “Hollywood that never was, and always will be,” is but a memory now, though even what we saw then was just an illusion. Before signing off, Ritter looks into the camera, his manner serious but his eyes bright, to let viewers know that “show business never, ever stops … so it’s not goodbye, just … ‘until next time.’”

And ... cut.