The North Avenue Irregulars

Time to do some undercover work and review a surprisingly entertaining tale of small-town crime-busting: 1979’s The North Avenue Irregulars - based on a true story!

The North Avenue Badasses

The film tells the story of a small town plagued by illegal gambling, which is allowed to operate due to a bribed police force and frustratingly blasé populace. The late Edward Herrmann (of Gilmore Girls fame) plays Michael Hill, a widower and single-father who is the recently-hired minister of the North Avenue Presbyterian Church. Following a spirited protest against the town’s organized crime on local television, Hill is recruited by a pair of agents from the US Treasury (Michael Constantine and Steve Franken) to round up volunteers and help shut down the gambling racket. After most of the town’s men refuse to help, he turns to a motley crew of ladies from the church choir: soccer-mom Vickie (Freaky Friday’s Barbara Harris,) young bride-to-be Jane (Karen Valentine,) lonely single fashionista Claire (Cloris Leachman, playing a goofier variation of her character from The Last Picture Show,) tough and dedicated Cleo (Virginia Capers - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s Hattie Banks!) and sassy old Rose (Patsy Kelly.) After a series of failed stakeouts lead the group to become targets of the town mafia (and following the shocking firebombing of the church itself,) no-nonsense Anne (Susan Clark,) the church secretary and daughter of its former minister, decides to join in the fight.

This isn't what they meant by "Get your motor running" ma'am...

The supporting cast is made up of many “where have I seen them before?” character actors, including appearances by the Skipper himself, Alan Hale Jr. (as the world’s most likeable bookie,) and Laugh-In's Ruth Buzzi (as a presbytery representative who may or may not have slept with an entire Elk's Lodge.) The main cast are all supremely likeable and totally convincing in the roles, with each having their own individual reasons for agreeing to take part in the caper. Virginia Capers is a standout, as her Cleo Jackson is more willing than the rest of the stodgy parishioners to go along with the new minister’s attempts at revitalizing the church; she's also the first to volunteer for his crime-fighting team. Between scenes of trying to shepherd his would-be vigilantes over a ham-radio, Edward Herrmann - tall and rich-voiced as always - has a few tenderly acted moments with his children, including a 12-year-old Melora Hardin as his daughter, Carmel. Most of the best gags go to Barbara Harris' harried Vickie during the disastrous stakeout scenes, as she attempts to discreetly "report in" via walkie-talkie while corralling an unruly little-league team or transporting a car full of family pets.



Hunting for crooks and GMO's all at once
(also: actual NuttyO's recipe)

It’s in these stakeout sequences where The North Avenue Irregulars puts forward some subtle feminist messages​. Minister Hill’s attempts at recruiting a force of men from the town (most of them small-business owners) reveals them as either too cowardly to step up for fear of reprisal, or too lazy to care - some even suggesting that Hill is crazy for even caring. So the only ones who willingly offer themselves up for the “observe and infiltrate” mission are a group of women who already have a lot going on in their daily lives. We get to see how difficult the day-to-day world that these people live in can be, even without the added stress of crime-fighting. Yet they’re the only ones to show any kind of responsibility or determination to fix their town.

While most of the businessmen could call on employees to “mind the store” while they're away, our unlikely group of heroines have no one else to turn to for their daily responsibilities. Thus we have Vickie watching her children or shopping for groceries while on a stakeout, and Cleo attempting to soothe her baby to sleep while reporting a crook's location. Likewise, “June bride” Jane must put up with the constant prying of her mama’s-boy fiancé, Howard (played by one-and-done actor Dick Fuchs … DICK FUCHS!?) and her soon-to-be Mother-In-Law (Chiffon margarine’s “Mother Nature” herself, Dena Dietrich.) While posing as a “floozy” attempting to entrap a suspected bookie, she has to fight them both off as they demand to know "what kind of a woman" she is for going into a bar at midday.

While it would be simple to dismiss the movie as sexist right off the bat (there are a number of “these screwy dames can’t do nuthin’ right” type of gags, after all,) I think that would be missing the forest for the trees.

Outta your league, dude...

What’s also surprising for a Disney movie is the scarcity of kids in the story. While Minister Hill has two young children (Carmel, as well as a son played by Bobby Rolofson,) they are only called upon a couple of times in the film. After triggering an excruciatingly protracted gag in the film’s opening (involving wacky attempts to rescue an old groundskeeper from falling off a roof,) the Hill children virtually disappear until the film is nearly over. And while Vickie is almost constantly surrounded by her boisterous children, they serve little purpose beyond a running gag - though they also serve as a cheering section during the demolition derby-like climax. This was something of a relief for me, as once I realized the plot involved small-town organized crime, I had flashbacks to Candleshoe’s climactic fight between small kids and big goons. Thankfully, nothing like that occurs here. The North Avenue Irregulars may be one of Disney’s last live-action family films that trusted its audience to sit through it without having a kid as a protagonist.

Hooray!!

While I was initially put off by a rather long animated credits sequence (which made the film look like it would be a Pink Panther knock-off,) I ended up being pleasantly surprised throughout. Perusing opinions online (and believe me, they’re few and far between,) reviews for this film seem tepid, at best. This isn’t surprising, honestly; like the aforementioned Candleshoe, The North Avenue Irregulars is beset by the typical problems Disney’s live-action output suffered from at the time. There are bewildering front-projection shots inserted into location footage, which seem to exist sorely to give the special effects department something to do. It’s not like these inserted shots display any dangerous stunt work, and the actors are all present for the location footage, so these inclusions are pointless. There are also a few overly-goofy scenes (like the rescue scene noted above,) and the inclusion of the fictional band “Strawberry Shortcake,” hired by the minister to liven up church services, is a groan-inducing attempt by Disney’s golf-shirted brain-trust to appeal to the “hep set.” However I would consider this film, already something of a very small cult favorite (how many people have to like a movie for it to be considered a “cult favorite” anyway?), one of Disney’s little hidden gems.

Look out boys - the bitch is back!